We heard about the gathering on Sunday. Theresa, one of Patty's sunday school girls, had not attended the week before, when Patty was talking to her, she shocked us by telling us that her mother had died last week. She said that she had gotten sick on Sunday and had died on Tuesday. Just that quickly! I had just talk to the women a month ago, she was the picture of health.
Theresa is only 10 years old, and her brother Claudio is 14 years old. I was not sure what I would see at the gathering. I mean they just lost their mother. I was really shocked at first, they seemed so normal! Everyone was gathered outside under the tents, they had all the speakers set up, and the loud music playing. Everyone was there. I was meet by a family member that took me around, and I greeted all the elders and close family members that where sitting in the fronts of each group of chairs. After this I was led to a chair, and sat with the family. (The point is to come and sit with the family to show your support, most people come for about 45 minutes and sit. This is a sign of your concern and support).
As I sat there, I was shocked, the three kids (Theresa, Claudio, and there older brother) where not even crying. But, as I sat there with them I realized that this calm was only surface deep. They keep trying to help others, they where trying to stay busy. If you watched Claudio close, you saw him fighting to be a man... but every once and a while you saw the mask slip a little. Even when they asked the boys to come up front and dance for their family in honor of their mother (this is something that people do here to honor a loved one) you saw them smiling, but their heart was not in it. I seemed that if they had to stop and think, they would just cave-in. I think this is why funeral are set-up the way they are here. Everything is very active. Loud music, a multitude of people, nothing stops for a minute.
For the western that comes to a Ghanaian funeral the whole things will be upside down. Funerals are supposed to be serious, reflective, somber, a time to let the family deal with grief. But, that is not the way that people see it here. Here you celebrate, enjoy, socialize, and most of all you do not talk of the pain, you do all in your power to help remove it's presents, even if this is just temporary!
I saw a lesson in these kids eyes, and in their fathers eyes (I had to go to the house to see him, he was not with the people outside, I think that the whole thing was a little to much for him), activity does not take away pain! When you go through such lose, the kind that hits you so hard, that it takes thinking just to follow the normal route, activity is not enough. Only God can see you through these times!
Please pray for the family, that God will use this time to draw them closer to Himself, and to show them their need of a Savior. Theresa's mom was unsaved!
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