Fear vs. Hope

As missionaries our work is people.

The funny thing about working with people is that they are all different, and you can never work the same way with each person that you meet. Though our work is people, it is not our goal. I have learned this is an easy mistake to make. We get this idea that the more helpers and attenders that we have, the stronger our ministry. Sometimes in this rush for workers, we place people in authority that are not ready or do not really want the best things. After a time of them helping, we start to see that they do not want to change, that they are content with the little instead of the much.

At this point we have some choices:

We can choose to fear - what will we do without them? what will I do if people get angry? what if? what if?... Because we fear, we try to overlook the problem and try not to rock the boat so that they stay. This is not real love. I read a quote that broke me the other day over this very point.

"If,
one whose help I greatly need appears to be as content to build in wood, hay, stubble, as in gold, silver, precious stones, and I hestitate to obey my light and do without that help because so few will understand, then I know nothing of Calvary Love. "

We can choose to reject without feeling - You say that this guy has caused you trouble; he has been a thorn in the flesh; he is carnal and deserves to be punished. We may need to step away, but we have no hope! This is not love. Here is another quote from Carmichael.

"If,
I belittle those whom I am called to serve, talk of their weak points in contrast perhaps with what I think of as my strong points, if I adopt a superior attitude forgetting "who made thee to differ? and what hast thou that thou hast not received?" then I know nothing of Calvary Love. "

So what do we do? We let go of fear and follow Christ. I have found that those that do not want to follow Him will not stay long with those that do, but the real freedom comes in what we pray for them as they go. We pray that in time they will return, that they will be blessed (the goodness of God leads to repentance), and that someday they will be the person God created them to be.

Trust

That seems to be the word that God is trying to teach me lately. In this new church that seems to be my biggest problem. I want to do it! I keeping struggling with this thought, "Well, things are not moving, you are not winning, because...!" Then follows the list, all the things that I have not done that week, all the sins that I have commited, all the ways that I have failed. FEAR moves in...

So there I am, with God people before me, trying to lead music, waiting for people to come, and I cannot really focus, give my all, because I am wondering, 'Where is everyone, so-and-so is not here?' Then I start to worry, faith goes out the window, and I am defeated by Fear!

But God hit me with something Sunday. 'Isaiah 43:1...Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine'. I was so full of fear, I would not trust! God seemed to say, 'How about you just trust Me, and stop trying to do my job!' To quote "Facing the Giants", "Do your very best and leave the rest up to God. If we win, we praise Him. If we lose, we praise Him!"

So, I finally let go. All I am responsible with is doing my best. I did what I could, the best I could. You know, church was wonderful. God finally had freedom to do what He wanted.

I thought of this verse this morning: Luke 17:10 "So likewise ye, when ye shall have done all those things which are commanded you, say, We are unprofitable servants: we have done that which was our duty to do". God does not bless because we have all our ducks in a row. In truth, most of the time I try to obey because I figure than I can twist God's arm into blessing me. It's like I think 'Hah, I have done it this week, God! I crossed all the t's and dotted all the i's. So you've got to bless me!' But you know, He is showing me that that is not why He works. It's not about us. Sure our sin can hinder what blessings we see, I know, but God is bigger than that. Even if I did everthing right, all the time, I still am unprofitable! God is doing what He is doing because He loves all men and wants them saved. He cares for them much more than I do. He is in control, He has a plan, and He will do what He wants. I am just blessed that I get to be a part!

So what did I learn this week? Do all that I can... and trust God with all of it!