Trust

That seems to be the word that God is trying to teach me lately. In this new church that seems to be my biggest problem. I want to do it! I keeping struggling with this thought, "Well, things are not moving, you are not winning, because...!" Then follows the list, all the things that I have not done that week, all the sins that I have commited, all the ways that I have failed. FEAR moves in...

So there I am, with God people before me, trying to lead music, waiting for people to come, and I cannot really focus, give my all, because I am wondering, 'Where is everyone, so-and-so is not here?' Then I start to worry, faith goes out the window, and I am defeated by Fear!

But God hit me with something Sunday. 'Isaiah 43:1...Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine'. I was so full of fear, I would not trust! God seemed to say, 'How about you just trust Me, and stop trying to do my job!' To quote "Facing the Giants", "Do your very best and leave the rest up to God. If we win, we praise Him. If we lose, we praise Him!"

So, I finally let go. All I am responsible with is doing my best. I did what I could, the best I could. You know, church was wonderful. God finally had freedom to do what He wanted.

I thought of this verse this morning: Luke 17:10 "So likewise ye, when ye shall have done all those things which are commanded you, say, We are unprofitable servants: we have done that which was our duty to do". God does not bless because we have all our ducks in a row. In truth, most of the time I try to obey because I figure than I can twist God's arm into blessing me. It's like I think 'Hah, I have done it this week, God! I crossed all the t's and dotted all the i's. So you've got to bless me!' But you know, He is showing me that that is not why He works. It's not about us. Sure our sin can hinder what blessings we see, I know, but God is bigger than that. Even if I did everthing right, all the time, I still am unprofitable! God is doing what He is doing because He loves all men and wants them saved. He cares for them much more than I do. He is in control, He has a plan, and He will do what He wants. I am just blessed that I get to be a part!

So what did I learn this week? Do all that I can... and trust God with all of it!