Within the first term the missionary will reach the adjustment stage. It will be his decision whether or not the adjustment is truly acceptance.
Here is a basic description for the reader of the outcomes of the adjustment phase (source: Wikipedia).
There are three basic outcomes of the Adjustment Phase:
1. Some people find it impossible to accept the foreign culture and integrate. They isolate themselves from the host country's environment, which they come to perceive as hostile, withdraw into a ghetto and see return to their own culture as the only way out. These Rejecters also have the greatest problems re-integrating back home after return. Approximately 60% of expatriates behave in this way.
2. Some people integrate fully and take on all parts of the host culture while losing their original identity. They normally remain in the host country forever. Approximately 10% of expatriates belong to this group of Adopters.
3. Some people manage to adapt the aspects of the host culture they see as positive, while keeping some of their own and creating their unique blend. They have no major problems returning home or relocating elsewhere. Approximately 30% of expatriates are these so-called Cosmopolitans.
Missionaries fall into these numbers just as concretely as anyone else. This is sad to me, since missionaries are supposed to be more ‘spiritual’. The common fact, though, is that three out of every four missionaries that come to the field do not return for a second term.
In my life I have been able to visit a few countries and have known many missionaries. I have been amazed as I hear many missionaries talk about their experiences on the field and listen to what they say and do not say. Many times the things that they do not say tells a listener if they are a missionary in the Rejecter group or not.
It is sad to see how many missionaries live life in this group. They work with the nationals when it is mandatory, but most of their social lives and free time is spent in the ex-patriot community. I have met many missionaries, from varying church groups, that seem to be social butterflies. They fly from each group of foreigners to the next sipping the cultural nectar.
It is common on the mission field for missionaries to send their children to international schools, to attend functions and parties hosted in the ex-patriot bubble, and to fellowship in the higher stratus of the foreign sub-community.
These missionaries, international businessmen, and non-governmental organization workers begin to form a ghetto in its truest sense. That ghetto has no permanent residents, since most of the people that join it are discontent and move themselves from the country of their services. But just like the standing water so common in the African rainy season, just as the old waters evaporate the new rains come and add to the supply. So in each country around the world a traveler can find his cultural ghetto. These ghettos as normally filled with the culturally stagnant. The people in them enjoy the fellowship immensely, but it is just a support group for them, until they can reach their home culture. I am not trying to be harsh but honest. Many times when people visit these ghettos, if they are not deep in cultural death themselves, they see the bubble and its impact on the people that live in it.
If the reader has ever visited rural Pennsylvania Amish country, or the Jewish, Chinese or Greek parts of New York City, he will understand. Inside these communities there is a bubble. Drive through parts of Lancaster, PA, and a person feels as if they have gone back in time. Walk through the streets of Little Italy or China Town, a person feels as if he is in another nation. This is how the ex-patriot bubble feels in many nations. Step into these groups and in the midst of foreign country there is a piece of the travelers homeland (of course depending on the location and it limitation, it might only be a cheap copy of the homeland).
Let me tell the reader a personal story to help explain. When my wife and I were new arrivals to Ghana (I think we had been here for about four months), we were invited to an ex-patriot Thanksgiving get-together. Picture this: here we were riding in a taxi down a dusty African road, when we came to the destination. Outside was a normal African estate area - children running around playing football, and a few women selling food stuffs on the road sides, the air filled with the sites and sounds of normal West African life. Then the door to compound opened up. We were ushered inside by the gate man, along with the other white pilgrims, coming on their yearly trip to their cultural Mecca! The yard was half paved concrete and half grass. Every bush was pruned, the grass was green and full, the house was sparklingly clean. There were at least ten to twenty Land Rovers and SUVs parked outside. The driveway was covered in decorated tables and chairs. The yard was filled with foreign children playing together with balls and games. At every table, in every corner, and under every tree sat groups of white foreigners. They were chatting, eating, laughing. For an American in a foreign land, this seemed like the smell of home-made apple pie. There was a comfort to the scene. Everything made sense -- the way people were dressed (most were in cargo shorts and t-shirts), the way they were talking, and the eating of ‘normal’ foods. It all called to the memory a community party at home.
But, not too long into the party, my cultural radar started going off. My wife and I had been living in a local community with the local people. We were even living in a local apartment with a national pastor. After four months of total immersion, we had started to see a little bit of how Africans lived: how much money they had, what kinds of food they ate, what they saw as expensive, so on. The first thing that caught my attention was the subjects that people were talking about. Some groups were talking about problems with the ‘local’ house-help, others the difficulty of getting a favorite food, others the corruption of government, etc. etc. etc. Basically after just a few minutes each group would start to talk about something different in Ghana from their home country, and each time the pressure cooker of culture shock would start to sputter and whistle.
Now don’t get me wrong, I took part of enough of this in my own way and at my own time, but at this time, I was still in the honeymoon stage, and all this complaining started to get to me.
But the thing that got to me most was the carelessness that the ex-patriots seemed to have around the nationals that were working that day. The woman that hosted the party had two maids and one cook serving food. There were also three young men tending the drink stands and bbq outside. The nationals outside had the job of roasting and carving the hog (the family had bought a male pig, weighing about 150 pounds, and had the whole thing roasted for the party). They just watched as the foreigners consumed massive amounts of meat and rich foods. I wish that I spoke Twi then like a do now. I can just imagine what they said when they spoke to each other in Twi, “Look at that guy, that is his fifth time for pig meat!” “Did you see that white lady? She’s huge! Her husband must have a good job to keep her fed!” “I hope they let us eat some of this when they are finished. I could eat off this for a week!” (I have since heard Ghanaians say some of these things about foreigners when they did not know I spoke the local language).
At this party there was turkey (super expensive here in Ghana), chicken, every foreign food imaginable. The workers just sat in their corners or at their tables, only talking to guests when asked for food. They watched all the consumption. They seemed to count every bite, each dollar of mineral (coca-cola) drank. They seemed to be keeping a running total. We foreigners were eating in one sitting what they would make in salary over three or four months.
Please, do not get me wrong. It is not wrong to eat nice food just because some people are poor, but it was difficult to eat that roasted pig knowing that these men could not even afford a feast like that if they were getting married. Please understand. I know that parties are not wrong. Even poor Africans have times when they gather together to feast and celebrate, spending many times their yearly salary for the party. The thing that bothered me at this party was not all the excess, but the spirit of the gathering. The spirit of the gathering caused the excess. The money was spent, because a gathering of foreigners could never be given local fare. Foreigners need the foreign foods, and they need the very best. It needed to be like a picnic overseas. The money did not matter. The atmosphere and experience is what mattered. The gathering of friends was not the goal, since most people there did not even know each other. It was a "gather-away" in reality. These people were coming together to get away from the local scene. That is why it cost so much and seemed so different. In the end, Patty and I left as fast as we could. The saddest part to me about the whole thing was that the host family were ‘Christians’, and I am sure that during the whole party the ‘Pagan’ helpers heard more complaining, grousing, and insults about the local people, than loving words or testimonies for Christ.
This is the kind of trap that many missionaries fall into on the field. There is an old saying, “Misery loves company.” Many missionaries passing through cultural woes find these kinds of cultural ghettos or gatherings and do not escape until they leave the field after their first term or many years later. Sadly, no matter how long they stay on the field, they are never really happy in their new homes.
Most missionaries end up in this first group. They are just like the 60% of foreigners that travel overseas and face culture shock. Some fall into the other groups. A few that make up the 10% become Adopters. Many times they are married to nationals, or submerse themselves, planning on their families never returning to their home countries. I met a girl in college who’s parents fell into this group. In her 18 years of living in France, she had never returned to the States. She could not speak more than elementary English (though she was American) and attended public French schools. When she finished high school, and her visa to stay in France expired, her parents bought her a plane ticket to America and sent her “home”. Needless to say, she did not adjust well. She was not American; she was French!
If a missionary or foreign family is planning on being true immigrants, this is a great attitude to take. If they are planning on having their children return to their home culture, though, this is not advisable.
Last of all is the Cosmopolitan group. I believe this is the group that has accepted their cultural death. They know that if they are to continue to live in their new host culture and be happy, they will have to adapt. They must accept the death of their own culture and begin to become part of the new. In reality, they form a new third culture. They become part of two worlds. They have adopted parts of the host culture and can freely move inside this new culture, but they have the ability to relate and re-adjust when they return to their home culture. It is true that the longer the person remains in their host culture, the greater will be their reverse culture shock, but these Cosmopolitans have learned their place in the world, and can make this change.
I believe the key to the Cosmopolitans success is acceptance. They have learned that frustration and anger will not change anything and have learned to accept the culture with all it beauty marks and scars.
Here again is the definition of acceptance according to the grieving stages.
Acceptance:
This final stage comes with peace and understanding of the death that is approaching. Generally, the person in the fifth stage will want to be left alone. Additionally, feelings and physical pain may be non-existent. This stage has also been described as the end of the dying struggle.
The basic truth is this: the only way a missionary will have peace is if they come to accept that they will have to die to their cultural thinking and learn to accept the parts of the host culture that are not un-Biblical or harmful to their health or family. When they surrender all that they are to God, even their culture, then they will have peace. God will give them a new home and a great life!
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