Afrikaans Monopoly Fun!

We had a little time of get together with some other missionaries this last week. We decided to play Monopoly and when we opened our friends new board, we found this nice surprise. It was a game from South Africa. Not only where the names on the board changed to fit cities in Sout Africa, but also the currency and languages where changed. Everything on the board was printed in Afrikaans and English.

I don't know how to speak Afrikaans, but I can speak Asanti Twi, and I have to say: "Monopoly e ye pa ara!" (Translated: Monopoly is the Best!)

Family Fun Photos

Here are a few family fun pictures.

It is really hot in Ghana, but when God allows us to get marshmallows, chocolate, and milk biscuits (a cookie like a graham cracker), we just suffer through the camp fire on our porch and make S'mores!

Carey is never sure if she wants to burn them or eat them raw.

No wonder missionaries get fat!!!!

Only Patty can eat a S'more with style.

Carey holding a grapefruit from a tree at Isaac's house. Isaac is a young Community College man that has been attending our Bible Studies and has been saved. Pray for him to be baptized.

Ella with her green bowling ball (grapefruit).

My first time chewing sugar cane. It is really good!

Patty's local food processor, and local spices.

A new local dish we tried. It is called Waakye, and it is really good.

Just mix everything together and add cooked spaghetti, and devour! YUMMMM!

Patty and I were on our monthly date, and when we were walking through downtown, we saw this honey seller. The interesting things was the mound of honeycomb and bees she had on her table to prove it was real honey, not melted sugar.

Patty is a great mom. She cooks with the girls on a regular basis. On this day Carey, Ella, and Patty were making strawberry muffins for their tea party.

The sparkles where Carey's idea! If you know Carey this is no surprise!

Cultural Stress

Patty found this article online, while she was reading other missionary blogs. She asked me to read it, and I found it quite true. The articel was quite clear and helpful to me, I hope it will be helpful to the reader also.

What Missionaries Ought to know about Culture Stress
Ronald L. Koteskey

You feel tired, anxious, discouraged, isolated, angry, and homesick but cannot think of any reason why you should feel that way. You have been on the field for several years, but these feelings always seem to be there-increasing and decreasing. You wonder what could be causing them. It could be culture stress. You may say, "I know about culture shock, but what is culture stress?" What is the difference between culture stress and culture shock? What causes culture stress?" What are its effects? What can be done about it? Can it be prevented? Let's consider some of these questions.

What is culture stress?

Culture stress is the stress that occurs when you change to a different way of living in a new culture. It is what you experience as you move beyond understanding the culture to making it your own so that you accept the customs, becoming comfortable and at home with them. If you are trying to become a real part of the culture, to become bicultural, you are likely to experience culture stress as you assimilate some of the conventions to the point that they feel natural to you.

Of course, if you live in a "missionary ghetto," you may experience little culture stress. Early modern missionaries often lived in compounds, which were physically identifiable as missionary ghettoes. Today, even though some missionaries live physically in a national community, they have primarily relationships with other missionaries. A missionary subculture may develop which becomes focused on itself and preoccupied with group concerns so that the missionaries experience little culture stress. Those trying to become an integral part of the national community are the ones who experience the greatest culture stress.

How is culture stress different from culture shock?

As culture shock was originally defined (honeymoon, crisis, recovery, adjustment), culture stress was considered to be a part of it. However, the word "shock" connotes something sudden and short-lived. Thus, many people today think of culture shock as the crisis stage (confusion, disorientation, and lack of control) and the recovery stage (language and cultural cues more familiar). These stages begin when the new missionary leaves the enthusiastic, exciting, optimistic tourist mode, usually beginning in a few weeks, worsening for about six months, and basically ending within a year or two.

Culture stress is the adjustment stage in which people accept the new environment, adopting new ways of thinking and doing things so that they feel like they belong to the new culture. This takes years, and some missionaries never complete it. This may go on and on.

What causes culture stress?

Many factors enter into the amount of culture stress one feels while living in another culture. Here are some of the major ones.

• Involvement. The more you become personally involved in the culture, the more culture stress you may feel. The tourist, the business person or someone from the diplomatic corps not committed to being the incarnation of Christ in that culture, may feel little culture stress.

• Values. The greater the differences in values between your home culture and your host culture, the greater the stress. Values of cleanliness, responsibility, and use of time may cause stress for years. Cultures may appear similar on the surface but have broad differences in deeper values.

• Communication. Learning the meanings of words and rules of grammar are only a small part of being able to communicate effectively. The whole way of thinking, the common knowledge base, and the use of non-verbals are necessary and come only with great familiarity with the culture.

• Temperament. The greater the difference in your personality and the average personality in the culture, the greater the stress. A reserved person may find it difficult to feel at home where most people are outgoing extroverts. An extrovert may never feel at ease in a reserved culture.

• Entry-re-entry. Most missionaries, unlike immigrants, live in two cultures and may never feel fully at home in either. Every few years they change their place of residence, never fully adapting to the culture they are in at the time.

• Children. The more your children internalize the values of your host culture and the more you realize that they will be quite different from you, the more stress you may feel.

• Multinational teams. Although effectiveness of the ministry may increase, working together in your mission with people from cultures other than your host culture often adds to the culture stress.

What are the results of culture stress?

Many of the results of culture stress are the same as those of any other stress.

• Feelings of anxiety, confusion, disorientation, uncertainty, insecurity, and helplessness

• Fatigue, tiredness, lack of motivation, lethargy, lack of joy

• Illness (stress suppresses the immune system), concern about germs, fear of what might be in the food

• Disappointment, lack of fulfillment, discouragement, feeling hurt, feeling inadequate, feeling "out of it"

• Anger, irritability, contempt for the host culture, resentment (perhaps toward God), feelings of superiority or inferiority

• Rejection of the host culture, the mission board, even of God.

• Homesickness

• Etc.

Some people seem to believe that they can adapt to anything, even continual stress, without it hurting them. It just does not work that way. In the 1930s, stress researcher Hans Selye put rats under many different kinds of stress. He kept some in a refrigerator, others in an oven, made some swim for hours a day, injected others with chemicals, others with bacteria, etc. The results were almost always the same. The rats went through the same cycle. First was the alarm reaction in which resources were mobilized. Then came the resistance stage in which it seemed like an adequate adjustment had been made. But if the stressor was intense enough or long enough, sooner or later the stage of exhaustion occurred when the resources were depleted, and the rats collapsed. If the stressor continued, they died. You probably have seen people who seemed to be making an adequate adjustment, suddenly break down. Uninterrupted stress of enough intensity leads to exhaustion sooner or later in most individuals.

What can be done about culture stress?

Much can be done to decrease culture stress and make it manageable.
• Recognition. Realize that culture stress is inevitable for those attempting to become at home in a host culture, and look at what factors cause you the most stress.

• Acceptance. Admit that the host culture is a valid way of life, a means of bringing Christ to the people who live in it.

• Communication. Beware of isolating yourself from everyone in your home culture, those with whom you can relax and be yourself, those with whom you can talk.

• Escape. You need daily, weekly, and annual respites. God made the Sabbath for people, so be sure you keep it. Reading, music, hikes, worship (not leading it), and vacations are necessary.

• Identity. Know who you are and what you will allow to be changed about you. Acculturation inherently involves changes in your personality, so determine the unchangeables.

• Activity. Since stress prepares you for fight or flight, and as a missionary you can probably do neither, you must have some physical activity to use that energy.
Sports, an exercise plan, and active games with family or friends can reduce stress.

• Befriend a national family. Get close to a national family just for fun, not to learn or evangelize. Learn how to have fun in that culture.

Can culture stress be prevented?

The answer to this is simple and short. No! Stress in general cannot be prevented-we all experience it in life. Trying to become at home in another culture is always a challenging venture.

However, like other stress, it can be managed, decreased to a level with which you can live-stress without distress. The factors that help you cope with stress are summarized in the three enduring things mentioned by Paul at the end of 1 Corinthians 13.

• Faith. In addition to faith in God, faith in yourself as a person created in God's image and called into his service will help you cope.

• Hope. Rather than feeling helpless, having not only the hope of eternity with God, but also hope in your future, knowing that he has good plans for you, will help you cope.

• Love. Finally, having both God's love and the love of his people to give you support in the stressful situations you face daily, will help you cope.
Stress is a part of life, and everyone learns how to manage it or suffers the consequences. Remember that not everyone can become at home in two cultures, and it typically takes a very long time for those who do it successfully.

I agree with almost everything in this article, the only thing that I change is the part about haing faith in yourself. I would have liked to word it, "Having fiath in what God will do in you." I hope the article was insightful and helpful.

Cultural Death- Adjustment Stage (Acceptance)

(First of all, just a note- these pictures are just ones that we have taken lately and have nothing to do with this post's content)

Within the first term the missionary will reach the adjustment stage. It will be his decision whether or not the adjustment is truly acceptance.
Here is a basic description for the reader of the outcomes of the adjustment phase (source: Wikipedia).

There are three basic outcomes of the Adjustment Phase:

1. Some people find it impossible to accept the foreign culture and integrate. They isolate themselves from the host country's environment, which they come to perceive as hostile, withdraw into a ghetto and see return to their own culture as the only way out. These Rejecters also have the greatest problems re-integrating back home after return. Approximately 60% of expatriates behave in this way.
2. Some people integrate fully and take on all parts of the host culture while losing their original identity. They normally remain in the host country forever. Approximately 10% of expatriates belong to this group of Adopters.
3. Some people manage to adapt the aspects of the host culture they see as positive, while keeping some of their own and creating their unique blend. They have no major problems returning home or relocating elsewhere. Approximately 30% of expatriates are these so-called Cosmopolitans.

Missionaries fall into these numbers just as concretely as anyone else. This is sad to me, since missionaries are supposed to be more ‘spiritual’. The common fact, though, is that three out of every four missionaries that come to the field do not return for a second term.

In my life I have been able to visit a few countries and have known many missionaries. I have been amazed as I hear many missionaries talk about their experiences on the field and listen to what they say and do not say. Many times the things that they do not say tells a listener if they are a missionary in the Rejecter group or not.

It is sad to see how many missionaries live life in this group. They work with the nationals when it is mandatory, but most of their social lives and free time is spent in the ex-patriot community. I have met many missionaries, from varying church groups, that seem to be social butterflies. They fly from each group of foreigners to the next sipping the cultural nectar.


It is common on the mission field for missionaries to send their children to international schools, to attend functions and parties hosted in the ex-patriot bubble, and to fellowship in the higher stratus of the foreign sub-community.

These missionaries, international businessmen, and non-governmental organization workers begin to form a ghetto in its truest sense. That ghetto has no permanent residents, since most of the people that join it are discontent and move themselves from the country of their services. But just like the standing water so common in the African rainy season, just as the old waters evaporate the new rains come and add to the supply. So in each country around the world a traveler can find his cultural ghetto. These ghettos as normally filled with the culturally stagnant. The people in them enjoy the fellowship immensely, but it is just a support group for them, until they can reach their home culture. I am not trying to be harsh but honest. Many times when people visit these ghettos, if they are not deep in cultural death themselves, they see the bubble and its impact on the people that live in it.

If the reader has ever visited rural Pennsylvania Amish country, or the Jewish, Chinese or Greek parts of New York City, he will understand. Inside these communities there is a bubble. Drive through parts of Lancaster, PA, and a person feels as if they have gone back in time. Walk through the streets of Little Italy or China Town, a person feels as if he is in another nation. This is how the ex-patriot bubble feels in many nations. Step into these groups and in the midst of foreign country there is a piece of the travelers homeland (of course depending on the location and it limitation, it might only be a cheap copy of the homeland).


Let me tell the reader a personal story to help explain. When my wife and I were new arrivals to Ghana (I think we had been here for about four months), we were invited to an ex-patriot Thanksgiving get-together. Picture this: here we were riding in a taxi down a dusty African road, when we came to the destination. Outside was a normal African estate area - children running around playing football, and a few women selling food stuffs on the road sides, the air filled with the sites and sounds of normal West African life. Then the door to compound opened up. We were ushered inside by the gate man, along with the other white pilgrims, coming on their yearly trip to their cultural Mecca! The yard was half paved concrete and half grass. Every bush was pruned, the grass was green and full, the house was sparklingly clean. There were at least ten to twenty Land Rovers and SUVs parked outside. The driveway was covered in decorated tables and chairs. The yard was filled with foreign children playing together with balls and games. At every table, in every corner, and under every tree sat groups of white foreigners. They were chatting, eating, laughing. For an American in a foreign land, this seemed like the smell of home-made apple pie. There was a comfort to the scene. Everything made sense -- the way people were dressed (most were in cargo shorts and t-shirts), the way they were talking, and the eating of ‘normal’ foods. It all called to the memory a community party at home.


But, not too long into the party, my cultural radar started going off. My wife and I had been living in a local community with the local people. We were even living in a local apartment with a national pastor. After four months of total immersion, we had started to see a little bit of how Africans lived: how much money they had, what kinds of food they ate, what they saw as expensive, so on. The first thing that caught my attention was the subjects that people were talking about. Some groups were talking about problems with the ‘local’ house-help, others the difficulty of getting a favorite food, others the corruption of government, etc. etc. etc. Basically after just a few minutes each group would start to talk about something different in Ghana from their home country, and each time the pressure cooker of culture shock would start to sputter and whistle.

Now don’t get me wrong, I took part of enough of this in my own way and at my own time, but at this time, I was still in the honeymoon stage, and all this complaining started to get to me.
But the thing that got to me most was the carelessness that the ex-patriots seemed to have around the nationals that were working that day. The woman that hosted the party had two maids and one cook serving food. There were also three young men tending the drink stands and bbq outside. The nationals outside had the job of roasting and carving the hog (the family had bought a male pig, weighing about 150 pounds, and had the whole thing roasted for the party). They just watched as the foreigners consumed massive amounts of meat and rich foods. I wish that I spoke Twi then like a do now. I can just imagine what they said when they spoke to each other in Twi, “Look at that guy, that is his fifth time for pig meat!” “Did you see that white lady? She’s huge! Her husband must have a good job to keep her fed!” “I hope they let us eat some of this when they are finished. I could eat off this for a week!” (I have since heard Ghanaians say some of these things about foreigners when they did not know I spoke the local language).

At this party there was turkey (super expensive here in Ghana), chicken, every foreign food imaginable. The workers just sat in their corners or at their tables, only talking to guests when asked for food. They watched all the consumption. They seemed to count every bite, each dollar of mineral (coca-cola) drank. They seemed to be keeping a running total. We foreigners were eating in one sitting what they would make in salary over three or four months.

Please, do not get me wrong. It is not wrong to eat nice food just because some people are poor, but it was difficult to eat that roasted pig knowing that these men could not even afford a feast like that if they were getting married. Please understand. I know that parties are not wrong. Even poor Africans have times when they gather together to feast and celebrate, spending many times their yearly salary for the party. The thing that bothered me at this party was not all the excess, but the spirit of the gathering. The spirit of the gathering caused the excess. The money was spent, because a gathering of foreigners could never be given local fare. Foreigners need the foreign foods, and they need the very best. It needed to be like a picnic overseas. The money did not matter. The atmosphere and experience is what mattered. The gathering of friends was not the goal, since most people there did not even know each other. It was a "gather-away" in reality. These people were coming together to get away from the local scene. That is why it cost so much and seemed so different. In the end, Patty and I left as fast as we could. The saddest part to me about the whole thing was that the host family were ‘Christians’, and I am sure that during the whole party the ‘Pagan’ helpers heard more complaining, grousing, and insults about the local people, than loving words or testimonies for Christ.


This is the kind of trap that many missionaries fall into on the field. There is an old saying, “Misery loves company.” Many missionaries passing through cultural woes find these kinds of cultural ghettos or gatherings and do not escape until they leave the field after their first term or many years later. Sadly, no matter how long they stay on the field, they are never really happy in their new homes.

Most missionaries end up in this first group. They are just like the 60% of foreigners that travel overseas and face culture shock. Some fall into the other groups. A few that make up the 10% become Adopters. Many times they are married to nationals, or submerse themselves, planning on their families never returning to their home countries. I met a girl in college who’s parents fell into this group. In her 18 years of living in France, she had never returned to the States. She could not speak more than elementary English (though she was American) and attended public French schools. When she finished high school, and her visa to stay in France expired, her parents bought her a plane ticket to America and sent her “home”. Needless to say, she did not adjust well. She was not American; she was French!

If a missionary or foreign family is planning on being true immigrants, this is a great attitude to take. If they are planning on having their children return to their home culture, though, this is not advisable.

Last of all is the Cosmopolitan group. I believe this is the group that has accepted their cultural death. They know that if they are to continue to live in their new host culture and be happy, they will have to adapt. They must accept the death of their own culture and begin to become part of the new. In reality, they form a new third culture. They become part of two worlds. They have adopted parts of the host culture and can freely move inside this new culture, but they have the ability to relate and re-adjust when they return to their home culture. It is true that the longer the person remains in their host culture, the greater will be their reverse culture shock, but these Cosmopolitans have learned their place in the world, and can make this change.


I believe the key to the Cosmopolitans success is acceptance. They have learned that frustration and anger will not change anything and have learned to accept the culture with all it beauty marks and scars.

Here again is the definition of acceptance according to the grieving stages.

Acceptance:
This final stage comes with peace and understanding of the death that is approaching. Generally, the person in the fifth stage will want to be left alone. Additionally, feelings and physical pain may be non-existent. This stage has also been described as the end of the dying struggle.

The basic truth is this: the only way a missionary will have peace is if they come to accept that they will have to die to their cultural thinking and learn to accept the parts of the host culture that are not un-Biblical or harmful to their health or family. When they surrender all that they are to God, even their culture, then they will have peace. God will give them a new home and a great life!

Tips for Witnessing to Those Influenced by ATR

The reader might first ask, "What is ATR?" ATR is the abbreviation for African Traditional Religions. Here in Africa we love abbreviations, the longer the better, and ATR is much easier than typing African Traditional Religions, so from here on out I will refer to it as ATR.

If the reader has read some of the earlier posts, such as The 3 S's of African Traditional Relgions orUnderstanding Interpersonal Relationships in Africa, he will be familiar with the difficulty in reaching Africans for Christ without understanding their thinking. I hope to give some helpful hints and conclusions that I have come to as I have sought to reach these kinds of people for Christ.

The hardest aspect when dealing with people that are of African cultural background is the way that their society culturally deals with sin or judgement. African people, just like the people of inner-cities of America, have few, but strong, rules. A person in these areas must strive to keep peace with their family, clan, or the other people that they see as important to their survival. (In America this is many times the gang, street, or group of people that the person closely associates with). They have certain values that are deeply rooted in them. Unfortunately, many times, because they live in a society where moral rules are far from concrete and where survival and social harmony are more important than a written code of conduct, their lives are ruled by situational ethics. They have no absolute truth as a frame of reference, therefore there is little or no judgement. And without judgment, there is no guilt or fear of consequences (Rom. 4:15).

This fact greatly influences the thoughts and understanding of the person living in this kind of community. Since most rules are seen as relative and many decisions are based on circumstances, the person does not have a list of do's and don'ts to measure his life by. With the removal of, or in the case of Africa, the ignorance of any Divine Code of conduct, the person and his community become the judge of his or her personal guilt and worth.

As in all places, times, and nations, when law is lost, people do what is right in their own eyes. As time passes, the lines between right and wrong become more blurred, and before long, the people that live in these groups have no guilt. They feel no remorse. Guilt comes from the feeling that the person has broken a law and that judgement is ahead. Remorse happens when a person knows that they have offended the powers that be and want to change. But when a person lives in a society based on social peace and harmony, as in areas greatly influenced by ATR, this guilt is lost.

Here is the problem that people have when witnessing to people that are influenced by ATR. The ATR person judges his life by his own experience and that of his community. The voice of the majority is king, and if the society they live in says that they are good (though not perfect), then they are not guilty and in no need of help. Yes, they know that they seem to break the laws of the Bible, but everyone does this, and so God must forgive them. They can understand that the God of the Bible has laws and that they have broken them, but living in a world without absolutes has hardened them from any guilt.

So what does the Christian worker do? If he cannot reach them by their guilt over their sin, what does He do? The Christian worker working with people that are influenced by ATR must remember that Africans learn deductively. That means they have to start from the real life out-working and then go to the theory. If the African does not see it in his own life or the real world, it is very hard for him to understand and start to believe.

If an African does not have guilt and has never seen anyone in his whole life struggle with guilt, then it does not exist, and it will be hard to use as a tool to bring him to Christ.

Here is what God has shown me of late. Africans may not have guilt, but they do not have peace. Here in Africa peace is king. Africans always want peace. They seek for it in every way that they can, but no matter how much they want it outside, they never have it inside. Inside, they always have conflict. They have no PEACE!
This lack of peace is a great tool when dealing with ATR influenced people. ATR people are overtly relilgious and superstitious. They believe all things have a spiritual cause.

This is how I have started to show people their sin problem. I ask them, "If you are so good, and you work so hard for God, how come no matter what you do, you still do not have peace?" They do not have peace, because they are sinners and have broken God's law. They are like Adam and Eve in the garden after the first sin. They just do not know the law they have broken.

Most people in their hearts know that they do not have peace. This is the practical problem. They do not have peace. Then I tell them why. I tell them that they have broken God's law. At this point I show them the law so they can understand what I am saying. This starts to bring the guilt. I take them from the experience of not having peace, and use that to start to show them their need of Christ. Christ is the only way to give them peace and salvation.

Many times when Christian workers deal with ATR people, they want to talk about guilt. Unless the person being dealt with has done something that has shaken his world system, though, he will not feel guilt. But, every person has had a time in his or her life that he has lived with a lack of peace.

I believe that if a person that is working with ATR people will start at the practical point of peace, he will see the light turn on. When we spoke with people about their guilt before, the people would agree, but not from personal understanding. When we speak with people about a lack of peace now, we see the personal understanding come at once.

When preaching to lost people, we must deal with their guilt in contrast to God's Holy Standard, but I believe it will help us to start at the point of greatest understanding. Let's start at their lack of peace, then build to their guilt.

(Just a note- In my experience dealing with people influenced by ATR, starting with the concept of the Love of God means very little. All ATR people believe God loves them, and that they are good people. They live in communities where social help and harmony are very important. They have not probably tasted of Agape Love, but they have a storehouse of their social idea of love, and many times the need for Divine Love will not at first draw them.)

More than a Strong Foundation!

I saw this house on Wednesday when I was out on visitation, and decided that I had to take a picture of it. So I brought my camera along with me and took some of these pictures.

This house has an amazing story. I heard the story about two weeks ago. Here is the story: this year we have had a good rain season. The area that this house is located in is very near a river. Some of the people that attend our Bible studies live in this community, and whenever it rains heavily their homes fill with the flood waters and everything they own needs to be removed. Well, about two weeks ago, we had a very strong rain storm. It rained most of the day and almost all night. The river flooded, and the waters kept rising. David, one of the young men that attends our studies, said that on that night he woke up at 3:00 in the morning with 6 inches of water all over his house, and more water pouring in.



On that night this house fall down. A family was sleeping inside, when they felt the waters rushing in their room. They started to hear the roof make noise, and right before the house fell down on their heads, they ran outside.



See, here in Ghana, people build the foundation of buildings very strong, but many times they do not have time our money to build the walls well. Cement here has become very expenses, so when they make the blocks for the walls they will reduce the cement and increase the sand content. That sounds like a good idea if a house is in a dry area, but if a flood comes, that sand is not strong, and though the foundation is strong, the house will still fall down.



Foundation are very important, but they are not the only part of a house. Just because it has a strong foundation does not mean that the house is safe. Ask these people that used to live in this house!



Here is the point. As I was looking at this house, I started to think. Most missionary that I know really try hard to lay a strong foundation for their people. They make sure to preach Christ, and His death, burial, and resurrection, as foundation for Christian life. I have no doubt many of them try to build this foundation as deeply as they can. I just wonder if the things that we are using to build the rest of their lives after we lay the foundation, are made of quality materials.

I have learned as a missionary that it is possible to build people up cheaply and quickly, but just because they have a strong foundation, four walls, and a roof, does not mean that they are strong.



No plan is perfect, but I had to ask myself today: How am I building up God's people? As missionaries do we build our people by money, programs, activities, personality...
Or do we see people built by patience, pray, love, preaching, discipleship?



It is very easy to reach Africans, to get them to join something, to seem to follow the missionary and do his bidding, especially if the Africans feels his physically needs will be meet. But, is the blocks of his life strong. Will they stand the test of rain and storms? That is a hard question.

Yes, he or she cares their Bible to church, sings the song, and talks a good talk. But, what will they do when their child is sick unto death, or when they are in their home village for a funeral, or when the family calls them to go overseas to Europe? Will they seek the church to pray or will they go to the Fetish priest at night, like many 'christians'. Will they pour libations to the god's and ancestor, with the family, or take a stand for the Almighty God! Will they move to Europe and have no church and drift, or will they seek God's will, and go where He wants them to go! These are some of times that a missionaries will see how strong his people have been built.



Most people here do not buy pre-made blocks to build houses. Most of the pre-made blocks are just sand with a little bite of cement. If a person here wants strong blocks, they have to make them themselves, and after they are made they have to sit in the sun for quite a while. The hot sun will bake the bricks and help to harden them. Also after a few rains the person that wants to use the bricks will know if the bricks are strong or not. Once they are strong then they will build with them.



Basically it is the same way with people. Paul says in the Bible "Lay hands on no man suddenly!" This is Bible and good advise. Take every person as far as they can go, but do not built with them to quickly. Many new Christians need time to firm up. I hope that God helps me to be patient enough with His church, so that I will allow Him to build at His speed. If we will let Him build at His pace and in His way, then the foundation and blocks of His church and the lives of His people will be strong.



These last three pictures are just a couple of fun photos from our house.

Cultural Death- Depression Stage

Depression (Loneliness):
During the fourth stage, the dying person begins to understand the certainty of death. Because of this, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time crying and grieving. This process allows the dying person to disconnect themselves from things of love and affection.

Example - "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "I'm going to die . . . What's the point?"; "I miss my loved one, why go on?"

This is probably one of the hardest stages for a missionary, if they reach this point. My wife seemed to pass through this stage much more than myself. I do remember times near the end of our second and third years on the field, when it was about a year to six months before we returned on furlough. At these times, I would have overwhelming feelings of nostalgia. I would remember my family, friends, with great fondness. At times I would like to sit and think about all the wonderful things of the past, and could feel quite lonely in our new home. The hardest part at this time was the language barrier. Our first term we learned very little of the local language. I remember times that the depression came because I felt that I was going to live the rest of my life in a bubble. I could see people, but I felt that I could not contect with them. It was very lonely at times, and as a missionary the person feels as if they might spend the rest of their life that way.

For the most part, I did not deal to greatly with depression or loneliness, but for my wife it was another matter. Patty, has grown up her whole life with very close friends. She has been best friends with one since pre-school times. She has passed through elementary school, junior high, high school, and even college with a strong support base of friends. Then we moved to Ghana. For the first time in her life she had no frineds, and no way to communicate with new people. It was very difficult.

In Ghana, more often then not, men are educated before the women, and if a choice has to be made in the family about which child is to be educated, it is always the boy first. For this reason many more men speak English than women. This fact made it very hard for my wife in our first church.

The first church that we worked in held very strongly to the idea that the services and work of the church should only be performed in English. This meant that I had a number of men to fellowship with, but almost no women for my wife to fellowship with. We did have grown women that attended the services, but most of them just came with their families and children, but did not understand a word of the preaching or teaching. When services ended the Twi speaking ladies would form their groups and enjoy their conversation, but this left my wife out. She would try to speak with them, but the conversations would not pass much beyond the formal English greetings that they knew, and the little broke Twi that my wife could speak at that time. Needless to say, my wife felt quite alone. (We praise the Lord that this has changed, and in our new church, my wife has many friends and can speak freely with the ladies in Twi and some of them in English).

My wife is quite a strong lady, and does not complain, but there where times that it was very overwhleming. There where many nights that we would talk, and Patty would tell me that she felt very lonely. She used to have so many friends, but now she had nothing. She felt like she could not make friends, and that she was going to have to live the rest of here life with just surface relationships, but nothing deeper. It was difficlut, but it drove her to the Lord.

I believe that God used this time to brake Patty and make himself more real to her. Patty final gave her rights to the Lord. She told Him that if He wanted her to have friends, than that was fine, but if not, He would be her true friend. There had to be a dieing to self, before peace would come. Patty has passed through this stage and no longer suffers from depression and loneliness. A missionary needs to know that they will suffer times of great depression. Our friends in Poland have confirmed this, as well as many books that I have read about missioaries.

Hudson Taylor states in his journals that there where times as a early missionary where he walked through very dark days of depression in China, but as he followed the Light of the world the darkness began to leave, and slowly victory over the depression came. James Frazer, a famous missionary said that at times in his early ministry with the Lisu of the High Mountains, he would be so depressed that he would think of throwing himself off the mountains to excape. But, these men of God knew that these feelings where just a stage and a weakness of the flesh. These feelings are just the emotions that come when the flesh refuses to die. But, when a person looks to His Savior and hope comes depression will melt away.

Some missionary will stuggle with this stage more than others. I suffered with anger much longer than depression, where as my wife suffered with depression much longer than anger. But we must all pass through the stages, and let God use them to work in us. The joy of it all is to learn more about oneself, and more about the Savior. And if someone will pass thorugh this stage, then they can finally reach the last stage of all, which is ACCEPTANCE!

Cultural Death- Bargaining Stage

Here is a quote from Wikipedia to remind the reader what the bargaining stage is like:

Bargaining-
The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow postpone or delay death. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. Psychologically, the person is saying, "I understand I will die, but if I could just have more time...”

Example - "Just let me live to see my children graduate."; "I'll do anything for a few more years."; "I will give my life savings if..."

As a missionary passing through cultural death I passed through this stage. During the first term on the missions field this stage begins. Normal it starts between their second and third year, if they are on a four year schedule.

It starts because they realize that being angry will not change anything, and that they have no real power to change the culture as a whole. To a person from our fix everything American way, this is a bitter pill to swoll. The missionary begins to understand that if he continues to live in his host country he will be forced to endure cultural death. So he starts to bargain with God!

I remember doing this. I would say or think things like this: "God I know that you called me to Ghana, but if you change your mind that is fine with me!" "Lord, if I work really hard could you make Ghana have a coup, and I will promise to be a good pastor in the United States." "Lord, if you just allow me to make it to fulrough, I will find a place in America that has a large population of Ghananians, and I will start a ministry there with them", and even more, "Lord, if I serve you and start one church, could you have a college or mission board call me and ask me to work for them!" or "Lord, I will serve you very hard, please, just let me retire in the States!"

These are all real things that I prayed to God. I was bargaining with him, like a person in Ghana bargains with a food fender. People fear death (at least the unsaved do), but I know as a missionary cultural death is hard to. No one wants to die, and we will do anything to delay the inevitable.

I just have one thing to say about this stage. The Bible says in John 12:24 "Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit". The only way a person is truly not alone, is if they are willing to die to God's will.

As a missionary we are on the field, because God has called us to that location. Until be accept that and die to our own cultural world, we will remain alone. We will keep everything and everyone at a distance. But, if we die, the process can start, and God will give us fruit. Here is a promise that God gave me from His Word, when I passed through this time of bargaining.

Mark 10:29-30 And Jesus answered and said, Verily I say unto you, There is no man that hath left house, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my sake, and the gospel's, But he shall receive an hundredfold now in this time, houses, and brethren, and sisters, and mothers, and children, and lands, with persecutions; and in the world to come eternal life.

The great thing about being a missionary is that a person gets more: He has two homes, two countries, two famiies, two languages, two worlds!!!!!!!! We do not have less, we have so much more! I thank God for it all, and I feel that I am one of the most blessed people I know.