Ella's 4th Birthday

Ella is four years old. It seems strange to write that down, but it is true. It seems as if this birthday has changed her alot. Almost as if she made the decision to grow up, and stop being a toddler overnight. She is a pre-schooler now, but even that seems an ill fitting term for her, she seems older than that. But she for now is our youngest and she is growing all the time.

What is Ella like at 4 years of age? That is a complex question. Though Ella likes her older sister and likes to imitate he in some ways, she truly is her own person and is so unlike her sister that it is easy to see that they are totally different people.

1. Ella is a private person. By this, I mean with her feelings. She is a person that feels deeply and loves or hurts with all she is. I think that this makes her be less obivious with her outward displays of affection. Also she watches people a lot before she opens up to them. But this does not mean that she is not emotional, or caring, quite the opposite. She is very emotional and many times seeks other less obvious ways to show her feeling. (For example hunting tirelessly for the perfect gift for her father and sister at Christmas).

2. Ella is quick in school. She has worked hard at reading and at this time seems to catch on quickly to her lessons. She likes to read. Even during movies she displays more of her mother and grandmother, than her father (when she walks away from the things being watched and gets a book or something else to do).

3. Ella loves to snack. Food is not as important as snacks. If possible she would love to eat everything while we are not at the table.

4. Ella is loyal, and has her own brand of justice that she feels strongly about. Justice should be given even if a little revenge is involved.

5. Ella likes to build. Legos and blocks are things she enjoys. Not to simply have a house or structure to play with, but she seems to enjoy the challenge of the building itself and the joy of doing it.

6. Ella enjoys books, Polly-pockets, dancing, new things, sometimes being better than her sister in something, dancing, singing, and time spent when she can connect with her parents all alone.

7. Ella dislikes- talking to strangers, being mocked or being made fun of (this makes her really angry), vegetables, being too cold, and most new American food she eats.

8. Ella is like a jewelry box. It has a hidden way to open it, but when it is open there are wonderful things inside. Some children are very much the open book, but others take time. Not so much quantity, but real quality. Ella is one of these kids. They are the kind of people that in this modern world of hussle and hassle, misses out on. They are the kind of people that need to be walked with for about an hour and then they open up, and their friends and family then get to see all the things going on inside. Overall the key seems to be patience and time.

I hope that as the years come and go I will be able to understand, love, and guide this wonderful little girl that the Lord has given me. We will see what this next year holds.

Holidays Continued

Here are some more Holiday Photos

African Engagement

Surprise locations, fancy dinners, diamond rings, these are the things that fill the mind of most Americans when they think of the word ENGAGEMENT. But this is a far cry from what most people the world over think of in regards to this word, if they even have such a cultural ideal.

Last Saturday my wife and I were able to attend our first African engagement. One of our church members was getting married and we were a part of the service.

First it most be stated that in Ghana the engagement is the traditional marriage, and can be legally binding. In Ghana there are three types of marriage certificates given by the government. Traditional- meaning that the families have agreed on the marriage, but they not legal bound to stay married and the man can marry as many wives as he chooses. Muslim- this means that the man has had a wedding performed by a cleric and can legally marry up to four women. Lastly the “Til Death do us part” marriage certificate, also now as the Christian certificate, this only allows the husband to marry one wife, and they cannot divorce. With this said, most pastors in Ghana like to have big expenses weddings and will not sign this last certificate unless it is performed at a church, but the truth is that it is possible and also helpful when or if they just perform the engagement and wedding together.

This all stated, Dora, Dennis new bride’s pastor is from a church that they require a marriage ceremony at the church building, so the description that I will give you will only involve the traditional African engagement and a small amount of church influence.


The Engagement-

It starts with arrival at the house. The guest are told to arrive at about 9:00 in the morning the time is not set in the culture, what waiting is. After arrival the guests should expect to wait about one to two hours for the activities to commence.

In this case the hall of the house was filled with about 50 plastic chairs and there were about ten to fifteen outside. The brides family had rented a speaker system to play ‘christian’ music, but luckily for us the power went off after about 30 minutes, and after it came back on Dennis had then start playing more hymn related music.

Close to about 11:00 the brides family arrived. The family elder led the procession, wearing a beauty red, white, black, kente fabric toga. Behind him was the oldest female relate present, and sisters and brother, aunts and uncle of the bride. I believe that the father and mother of Dora have both passed away, since both of them were not present.

The bride arrives (left corner wearing white)

The family then wanted for the grooms family to arrive. This meant about another 30 minutes of wait time. During these hours of waiting the people talk and interact. The veteran missionary has long excepted the use of time and enjoy the surroundings and the way that the cultural works in regards to time. For our kids, we just packed a few small toys in their purses and they had a great time.

About 11:30 our 12:00 the grooms family arrives. They are led by Dennis family elder, the most elderly female, and other brothers and sisters, also friends of the family. Since I was his pastor I was already seated in the house with Dora’s people and pastor.

After everyone in the room is greeted by Dennis family, starting with Dora’s family elder, and moving counter clockwise, then Dennis family sitting in the seats provided for them in the middle of the room.

Then the engagement starts. The brides families ‘okyeame’ or spokesmen stands up. The family elder will speak, but he will not address the man’s family, or the crowd. The elder speaks to the spokesmen, though he speaks in a normal speaking voice, and then the okyeame then addresses the people that he is speaking to. This is very important to cultural protocol. In the king’s court, he always speaks through an okyeame.

The family elder greets the grooms family, and asks why they have come. Then the groom’s family okyeame stands up. He is normally a younger brother or family member of the groom, much like a best man. Each person from the family says their names, and then all the bride family and guest tell their names. The best man greets the family elder and tells him that Dennis has come to take his wife.

When the family elder hears this he ask how they are looking for? The spokesmen then speaks to the other spokesmen and adds some of his humor. It is important in Ghana culture for the spokesmen to present things well, it is his job to insure that the people listening are not offended and want to receive the things that are being said. In this case our okyeame describes the girls of the house like flowers, and tells them that there are many different flowers at the house, and they are wondering which flower the man has come for. The people all laugh at the speakers joke and wit, and now it is the other spokesmen’s job to reply. From here on out, it is more of a competition between the two okyeame. They are free talk at will now, the one representing the brides family, making sure that the man really knows the girl, and for the groom’s okyeame as he tries to so everyone present that the boy is serious and not just picking the first girl he sees. After about 5 to 10 minutes of playful banter and jokes about which flower the boy has come to take, the family elder is satisfied that the boy knows the girl that he loves.

Now it is time for the bride price. As many people here will tell you, they are not selling the daughter (in good families at least), but making sure the boy can take care of the girl and is serious. I will put it in the bride’s okyeame’s words so the reader can see what I mean. The man says, “I know that you have come a long distance, and that your heart is beating in your chest. But, take time and rest, and talk with your family. What things have you carried with you, so that we might now that you can be a husband.” They want to see that an emotion did not bring him only, but that he has prepared for marriage.

At this time the family speaks together, and the groom and the younger men head out of the room to get their gifts. Dennis enters the room again after about ten minutes with his gifts. The grooms best man (spokesmen), then present them to the bride spokesmen. They make sure to take pictures of all these things. The gifts are stated, and then the bride’s spokesmen tell them to the family elder. They included, 1 and a half crates of Malt; two and a half crates of coke, envelopes of money for the father, mother, brother of the bride, and then cloth for the mother. Also a Bible for the bride, and a ring. (In most wedding these gifts can be huge, many hundreds of dollars of clothes, drinks, and money. By God’s grace, Dennis’ wife’s family are more Christian in thinking and did not burden him with a large bride price. Also most family require many bottle of Schnapp, and other hard drink to finish the deal. In older time the bottle of Schnapps would be keep as a pledge, and if the man beat the wife would be returned to bring divorce. But luckily for Dennis no hot drinks were required).

The speaker showing the gifts

The spokesmen then presents these gifts to the family elder. They are talked over in the family, and now a key time comes the family can decide to take these gifts that were predetermined our add something to them. If they do, no matter the amount of cost, they must be fulfilled or the engagement will not continue. The family elder smiled in this case, and then spoke to the spokesmen. He turned to the groom family and said… “We see here gifts, but how can a girl wear a Bible and how can a ring cover her, do you have more to add?”

This was a good respond, but all the other things that Dennis had bought for the bride were at the house, and he did not have them with her. So the family asked to leave and they would discuss this development, I left with the family at this time, and Dennis the groom, just looked like he wanted everything to be over, so he could see his bride. (Remember the bride is no where to be seen at this time). After discussion, we all return from another room, and the groom’s spokesmen, tells the bride’s man that the gifts are at the house. He begs that they not be forced to be brought. (This case the family gives grace, and the wedding continues, but if they wish they could have made them go and get all the things, in this time the spoken and elders agreed that after the engagement, the speaker would take his vehicle and go to the house and check to make sure everything was present).

Now that the price and everyhitng has been excepted the grooms family elders greet the bride’s family, and give them thanks. In sign of respect the elderly people lower the clothes off their shoulder, much like removing a hat, and shack the oldest man and woman’s hands.

Dennis accepting Dora

Now the bride can be called. But where is she. The groom’s spokes men ask to be able to see the wife, he has paid the debt, and now wants to see the girl. At this time, the uncle have an opportunity. Traditional the uncle would get some money, but not as much as the father or mother, and a certain fact of procedure gave them an opportunity to make some money. In the olden days the girl was not allowed to stay at the home if the family knew a boy was coming to marry their daughter. They did not want her to beg for lowly dowry or for the boy to try take her by force if there was a disagreement. For this reason she was sent to a relatives house, as near or faraway as the family deems important. This gave the uncles their chance to gain a larger gift before the wedding. At the engagement, the spokesmen for the girl, normally her uncle, will tell the young man’s family, that the girl is not here, and that he will have to send someone to get her. This being a case, transportation will have to be provided for the trip.

Me praying for the couple

(In this case, the men joked about if she was in Temale, or Tema, of Wa, to which the man’s people pointed to the far bedroom, and told him that he was in Temale. The uncle then asked for a plane ticket fair, and the man handed in 10 cedis. (about ten dollars) and to this they called a young girl to call the bride. Of course the uncle look as if he gave the money to her, but took it back).

Finally the bride was allowed to come. She was dressed al in white, but not the formal white dress of the church wedding, but a nice locally made white dress. At this point the bride family asks the bride if she will accept the gifts. They ask here about three times to make sure, and then the groom and bride are allowed to sit on a couch together. At this time, the elders from the family give advice. The men remind Dennis that he has married her, and that he should not raise a hand to bet his wife and to be a good husband. The women challenge Dora to be a good wife and obey her husband.

At this time the women’s family elder handed over the serve to Dora’s pastor. Here he preformed a small ceremony, (if he had chosen he could have completed a full marriage ceremony, but he chose to have a small time of Dennis giving a ring, and to invite the people to his church the following day for the wedding). Here all the pastors that were present gave a charge to the couple and directed them to try to start the marriage well.

Dora getting her ring

I was given the opportunity to speak, and since I would no preach at the other church for doctrinal and other practical reason, I used this time to say some words of encourage to the couple.

After the speaking, the family opened all the cokes, and each person was given some food. Sometimes this can be very expensive, but Dennis wisely purchased a small amount of meat and a small meat pie for each person; still expensive, but not as high as it could have been. After eating the engagement was over and people were free to leave and take picture.

And this ends the long description of our first African Engagement. (Sorry for so few pictures the lighting was bad).

Holidays

Holidays - We love holidays in Ghana. They seem to get better as each year passes. We have been so busy we have not had much time for blogging lately. So here is a pictoral overview of some of our activities the last month.

Thanksgiving...

John little talk about the First Thanksgiving

The kids table
Pin the tail on the turkey

Thomas confused!

Watching 'It's a Wonderful Life' all our Ghanain friend love this movie!

Christmas Decorating and Family Fun

Reading Books Everywhere

Patty's and the girls art projects

Papa Brona! (Father Christmas)

Our little readers

Lego everywhere

Dad building the 'girl's' toys

The tree

A Fundamental Baptist Church Group Meeting-

This was a great time for our people. The were about 300 people their. The people that are in this picture our most of the people from our group that came. It was great for them to here national men preaching the truth and saying the same things they have heard at church.

Tis' the Season...

Tis' the season... for a lot of activity! Between all the church work, government paperwork for Andrew, and holiday preparations, things have been busy. This last month has been full. Two baby namings and dedications at church. A trip to Accra to pick up baby certificates, paperwork, and supplies for the holidays, and stock piling and slaughtering for the holidays.

Yes, that is right, slaughtering. I have been able to add another first to my list of new things experienced as an African missionary. Slaughtering and dressing two turkeys. Our normal turkey seller did not have any birds this year. So she helped us to locate another seller. After traveling way across town, and shelling out a good bit of cash, Andrew and I had two Tom Turkeys in the back of his car just waiting for Thanksgiving day. (The new guys do not do the services of keeping, killing, and preparing that our normal seller does). This meant our kids got the pleasure of not only seeing our live turkeys this year, but also watching the dads slaughter them (well, at least from a distance).

So, for all those that have never slaughtered their own Thanksgiving dinner. Here is our Internet tutorial.

Step One- Selecting the Bird-

We went to a house across town were they raise turkey for sale. This year we choose two. One local turkey (looks like and has the size of a very large wild turkey in the states) The second one a farm turkey (all white and much larger). After selecting your turkey, be prepared to call the owner and to bargain over the price for about 30 minutes. After the said 30 minutes of reasoning, imploring, and talking, then the workers are paid and you get to select the fattest birds.

Step Two- Transportation

After paying everyone and making your cultural rounds of good byes and farewells and so on. Then it is time to tie up the birds legs. (This is after chasing the birds around the compound for about ten mintues). This allows for the birds to be safely placed in the back seat of the vehicle. After traveling for about half the trip, the buyer will then realize that he should have tied up the wings also, since now his car is covered in turkey droppings and feathers from the frightened turkey.

Step Three- The Pot

To pluck the turkey, a person needs the proper pot. In this case a rather large open faced pot, with a lid in order that the water may boil quickly. Our former turkey seller was kind enough to loan us this great pot. Most people will prefer cast iron, but here we make the choice of a nice lead based pot to give it that nice added flavor!!!!

Step Four- Execution

Time for the dirty work. After Tom has eaten his last meal, and prayed his last rights, the pot is good and boiling, and the time is come for ... well you know what. Andrew and I found a nice spot for Tom's last moments were the kids would not watch. So in the famous words of the queen of hearts... "OFF WITH HIS HEAD!"

Note- Turkeys kick a lot and are really strong. So make sure to hold the legs and wings well. Andrew almost got a claw in the face on the second one.

Step Five- The Dunking Machine

This is were the missionary gets his exercise. He lifts the 20 to 30 pound bird repeatedly dunking it in his boiling pot of water. Make sure to cover all the bird, and to scalded your feet with the hot water that is running over the pots lip. This is very important and makes for great story to tell to grand children and at missions conferences.

Step Six- Plucking

This is the fun part. now that Tom is wet and his feathers are scalding hot. Remove him from water and begin to remove all his feathers. This is a good time to call the wife and have her help. About 45 minutes later, you have a nice clean turkey carcase.

Make sure to keep the feathers. They are great for Thanksgiving decoration, Indian costumes, and fake display table items. (Everyone loves when they are told by the missionary that he was given these feathers by a heathen tribal chief as a present).

Step Seven- Surgery

This is not for the faint of heart, or for those that are not totally committed to being carnivores. I am sure that many a vegetarian took a trip to a slaughter house too early in life and therefore have joined the ranks of meat abstainers.

After about 15 minutes the missionary should be elbow deep in livers, hearts, and other entrails and such like.

"I think I got it!"

Step Eight- Clean Up and Packaging

Normal we suggest having running water. So that the reader can wash the dressed bird and his own hands after handling all that poultry, but just to make it fun and to mix it up a bit, on this day the city decided to turn the water off. In the case of this event, let the wives use the remaining boiled water and use it to scald your hands clean and to clean the turkey before packing.

To prepare Tom for his three week wait in the deep freeze, just wrap him in two plastic trash bags, and place him in the freezer.

I hope that the tale about our Thanksgiving preparation has been inspiring and we hope that you will try the Organic Turkey experience for your Thanksgiving celebration next year!

Here are a few other pictures from the last two weeks:

Prayer of Faith

James 5:15 "And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him".

The week has been very busy. Benedicta has been at the hospital now for almost two weeks. After about two weeks of sickness at home he was taken to the hospital with a lot of pain and vomiting. After spending two days in the hospital, I asked the doctor if it might be meningitis. She decided to check for the sickness, and about a week ago discovered that this was his problem. Though this would seem to be the end of the problem, here it is not that simple.

Many people are watching this case to see what will happen. Watching to see if our God is able to heal Benedict. The gospel has been preached to many people that live around Benedict's family and even to some of their enemies. They are all watching to see if the God this family worships and serves will raise him up. If not these people can continue to serve their gods, since they have more power.

The Lord has been working, and Benedicta is getting better. I hope to write another time of the ways in which God has worked. I do have this testimony to give. Today when we went to the hospital, the doctor on duty told me this. She said, "God must hear your prayers, because I do not have an answer for this". At the beginning of the week he was taken to the ICU for children and looked to be getting worse, now just three days later he is sitting up, playing, and laughing, and back in the normal chidlren's ward. God is good.

This whole thing has re-enforced something God has been challenging me with lately. Do I really have faith in God to do what the Bible says. People here need to see a person that has faith in a great God, and faith that works. Faith that believes that God answers prayers. I pray, but how important is it to me to see answers? God is willing to work, am I willing to trust?

Prospective

This week I have spent a lot of time with some of our converts. Bismark and Matilda have been saved and are trying to follow the Lord. This last few weeks their son has been very sick and we have gone to pray for him off and on.

On Monday, their son Benedict was taken to the main city hospital because was vomiting and could not move his legs. After two days in the hospital and many prayers; still nothing had changed. I finally talked to one of the younger doctors and asked if they had done any tests for meningitis. She told me that she was newly given the case, but would see about doing some test for it.

The following day the test came back positive for meningitis. Currently he is in the hospital taking the medications.

One of the amazing parts has been the spiritual conflict involved and also the great grace and faith that has been seen in the parents lives. Bismark told me on Friday that he was very concerned. Some of the people that live in the surrounding area of the new Bible study had said that their were going to curse his family or his wife. He knows that God is stronger, but really wanted us to pray. So after talking to the doctor, we went back to their house. On the way he told us that he was thinking about letting Benedict move to his sister-in-laws house, since he did not want anyone to hurt him again. I have been praying for their faith to hold, so that those that do not want the Word of God to increase will not see this as a victory.

At the house we talked and prayed together. We pray and looked over the house. Here many times when people wants to curse others they will place items that have been charmed in the house or around it. For this reason we checked it inside and outside very well. After seeing that nothing physical was there, we prayed and committed the house and each person living in it to the Lord. We asked God to be pleased with all the things that happened their, and also to make Bismark's family a light to the people around them.

Many people are watching right now. People know that others have claimed to curse the family, so this is not just about a little boy being sick, it is a test to see which power is stronger. There are about 10 adults that have been hearing the gospel in this area, and they need to see that Christ is the Almighty God.

Today Benedict seems to be doing much better. Many people around the world are praying and many people in Ghana are praying.

Yesterday Bismark today me this. When we were talking together he told me that he had to praise God. I asked what he meant and this is what he said. "Well, I was feeling sad about Benedict and asking God why, when I started to look around at all the other very sick children. The one man that has a sick son, that shares a bed with Benedicta (here the hospitals are over crowded and most beds have two children on them at a time), has been sick for months. His father has had to use his own blood for a transfusion and his son cries and is in pain all the time. Other children are crying, shacking, and in great pain. Pastor though my son is sick, he is not suffering so much like these other children. I had to thank God for His goodness." After this he told me a very interesting Africa story to make it clear.

He said, "A man was sad one day. His life was, he felt, horrible. Everything was going wrong. So he decided that the only course of action was to kill himself. After some time of thinking, he resolved that this was what the would do, and so got a rope and began to go out to the bush to hang himself. As he walked along the path which would reach the big tree were he wanted to kill himself he saw a crazy man coming. Up the path between the man and the crazy man was a large mud hole that they would both have to pass over to keep going on their journeys. As the man thought of what to do, the crazy man stopped at the mud hole. There he knelt down and began to laugh and praise. He keep saying, "Thank you God, thank you God", as he knelt down and lapped the water. The man was shocked. Here was a crazy man that had nothing, and could be happy for dirty water, and he wanted to kill himself. The man throw down his rope, and turned around and went home. Life was not so bad after all."

God has given me a lot of good prospective this week. I have seen that everything should be prayed about because people are always watching and Christ's testimony is important. I have seen that God's people no matter how young can learn and see the greatest truths. I have seen that even in the darkest hours, God's Spirit can shine His light of hope into the saddest heart. Lets thank God for these times of proper prospective.

Last Three Months in Pictures

Well, here is our life the last three months in not so many words.