It is nice to be able to remember my own experience of culture shock with that detachment that only comes from the passing of time. I have been through it, and can remember all the stages and pain, but like with all things, those feelings have become less painful with time.
Just some picture from the last year!
Culture shock is a life-changing event. It has the power to transform a person’s life for good or bad! I have personally seen and have heard of many missionaries and expatriates that have been scared by culture shock. The amazing thing, though, is that for those that allow it, it can transform them for good. It can be a tool God greatly uses in their lives.
Rodney Ruppel, a long term missionary in Cambodia, explained culture shock like this: Culture shock is the hardest and most difficult thing a missionary can pass through. It is like dealing with the grief of loss, but not just the loss of one person, but a whole way of life. It is like every family member, friend, and Christian Brother or Sister all dying at once. A missionary’s way of life, language, and everything that he identifies with is suddenly gone. This level of loss is culture shock in its deepest form. It is no wonder, when culture shock is put in these terms, why it is said that 75% of all missionaries leave the field during or just after their first term.
For a missionary to pass through culture shock and remain on the field, he must walk down a pathway of death. He must allow God’s calling on his life to force him to be separated from all that he knows is normal, and be willing to die to what he knows of himself.
The best way to describe this process is Luke 9:23, And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.
To help future missionaries and ones that are currently going through this process of culture shock, I want to talk about the stages of culture shock and grieving, and discuss my personal journey through my own cultural death.
Before I start this short series of blogs I want to say a few things: first, cultural shock is real, and every missionary staying outside their home culture goes through it. Second, culture shock must be dealt with. Thirdly and finally, culture shock in its self is not unspiritual, it is a fact, when a person has culture shock he is not unspiritual. It is how a person deals with this cultural death that will determine how they grow spiritually.
The first thing that I want to give the new missionary is an understanding of the process of culture shock, which can be understood more fully as cultural death. Culture shock is broken up into three major parts: the honeymoon phase, the negotiation phase, the adjustment phase. Here is a basic description of culture shock and its stages:
Culture shock refers to the anxiety and feelings (of surprise, disorientation, uncertainty, confusion, etc.) felt when people have to operate within a different and unknown cultural or social environment, such as a foreign country. It grows out of the difficulties in assimilating the new culture, causing difficulty in knowing what is appropriate and what is not. This is often combined with a dislike for or even disgust (morally or aesthetically) with certain aspects of the new culture.
Phases of culture shock
(These stages only fully occur for people that reside in another culture for an extended period of time.)
Honeymoon Phase - During this period the differences between the old and new culture are seen in a romantic light, wonderful and new. For example, in moving to a new country, an individual might love the new foods, the pace of the life, the people's habits, the buildings and so on.
Negotiation Phase - After some time, differences between the old and new culture become apparent and may create anxiety. One may long for food the way it is prepared in one's native country, may find the pace of life too fast or slow, may find the people's habits annoying, disgusting, and irritating etc. This phase is often marked by mood swings caused by minor issues or without apparent reason. Depression is not uncommon.
Adjustment Phase - Again, after some time, one grows accustomed to the new culture and develops routines. One knows what to expect in most situations and the host country no longer feels all that new. One becomes concerned with basic living again, and things become more "normal".
(SOURCE: Wikipedia online- Culture shock)
With this basic knowledge a person can understand the theoretical side of culture shock, but to more fully understand a missionary’s experience, before I discuss my own journey, we have to understand that the missionary’s culture shock more closely mimics the grieving pattern in all its points then the simple culture shock model.
Here is a basis run down of grief as described by Wikipedia:
The five step grieving mode was first introduced by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book "On Death and Dying". It was described, in five distinct stages, a process by which people deal with grief and tragedy, especially when diagnosed with a terminal illness or catastrophic loss.
Stages
1) Denial:
Denial is usually only a temporary defense for the individual. This feeling is generally replaced with heightened awareness of situations and individuals that will be left behind after death.
Example - "I feel fine."; "This can't be happening, not to me."
2) Anger:
Once in the second stage, the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue. Because of anger, the person is very difficult to care for due to misplaced feelings of rage and envy. Any individual that symbolizes life (or the person lost) is subject to projected resentment and jealousy, or the opposite feelings of attachment.
Example - "Why me? It's not fair!"; "How can this happen to me?"
3) Bargaining:
The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow postpone or delay death. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. Psychologically, the person is saying, "I understand I will die, but if I could just have more time...”
Example - "Just let me live to see my children graduate."; "I'll do anything for a few more years."; "I will give my life savings if..."
4) Depression (Loneliness):
During the fourth stage, the dying person begins to understand the certainty of death. Because of this, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time crying and grieving. This process allows the dying person to disconnect themselves from things of love and affection.
Example - "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "I'm going to die . . . What's the point?"; "I miss my loved one, why go on?"
5) Acceptance:
This final stage comes with peace and understanding of the death that is approaching. Generally, the person in the fifth stage will want to be left alone. Additionally, feelings and physical pain may be non-existent. This stage has also been described as the end of the dying struggle.
Example - "It's going to be okay."; "I can't fight it, I may as well prepare for it."
Kübler-Ross originally applied these stages to people suffering from terminal illness, and later to any form of catastrophic personal loss (job, income, freedom). This may also include significant life events such as the death of a loved one, divorce, drug addiction, or an infertility diagnosis.
Now that we have laid a good foundation, I hope in the next few blogs to relate my own experience of passing through cultural death. As any missionary knows that has remained on the mission field, culture shock is very real and personal, but if it is given to God it can change your life for the better.
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